Things have been kind of rough for me lately, submission-wise. I think I really need a mentor, someone I can turn to when I’m lost and don’t know what else I can do to further my submission to Master. The places I’ve turned to haven’t exactly been helpful. Mostly, I’ve been ignored. And that kind of huts. Well, it really hurts.
And today, I’ve probably done the worst thing I’ve ever done as Master’s submissive: I cursed and yelled at him. I was hurting emotionally at the time, but that’s no excuse. I have broken rules and that needs to be punished. It scares me in a sense because I’ve never done anything so severe like this that I think I actually disappointed Master.
But at the same time, it kind of helps me realize that I am still his submissive. And that’s a start towards getting it to stick in my head. I just wish I didn’t have to be so damn stubborn as to go and do something stupid like I did to learn the lesson.