Monday, January 11, 2010

Meditation Monday

Today, I have served Master by allowing myself to relax. I realize this might not sound like it's much service, but I've been truly happy all day, despite it being the anniversary of one of the worst days of my life. For weeks, I've been dreading this day, not because it means I'm another year older, but because of the memories of the events from a few years ago.

So, instead of getting wrapped up in all that, I allowed myself to just enjoy, which meant I actually got out of bed instead of crying all day.

Tomorrow, I can further serve Master by getting back on track with my service. Today I was allowed a break and the true purpose for that was so that I could jump back into service to Master feeling refreshed and happy. If I am refreshed, I tend to perform better and that means I can only serve Master even better.

One thing that can help with my servitude is remembering that I serve Master and only him. I will no longer be guilt tripped or forced to help those that I don't feel is deserving of my services. Nor will I have to put up with people in the past who hurt me.

My goal in serving Master is to move past my past. A lot of it, like many young women these days, was filled with abuse, both from my father and my ex-husband. But if I only stay in the past, all that ends up happening is that I stay stuck as the shadow of a person I was. I am a strong woman and I need to keep that in mind.

Through my service, I hope to learn that those who hurt me can no longer get to me unless I let them. It's a rough lesson for me at times. I sometimes forget that I'm a strong woman.

A moment in my life that lead to my servitude was the first time I served Master a drink. It was completely natural and it felt right and it's only shown me that he is the one that I was meant to serve for the rest of my life, fates willing.

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