Truth

Last night, I decided to truthfully answers any and all questions that were directed my way. There weren't many coming from outside Akri and Morika, which I consider to be private, though I will recap what was asked publicly. I'm actually surprised there weren't more questions, honestly. I suppose people prefer me to be an enigma.

Why do you want to be a submissive succubi?

As much as I would like to say it's in my nature to be submissive, I'm finding more and more that it's not. However, with Akri, my submission is just a fact of life. Much like breathing, it's something that I cannot do without, nor do I think twice about it.

If money were no object, what is the one thing that would be most important to you to do?

My family. Even when money is tight, I would do anything I can to make sure that you all are taken care of.

When was the moment that Alpha fell in love with Akri?

I fell in love with Akri the first time we played Ragnarok Online together and he sat down to talk to me.

What is the most attractive attribute of your mate that drives you wild for him/her?

You forgot an s there ;)

I love their passion for life. Both Akri and Morika have this indescribable spark in them that drives me wild. When the three of us are together, I feel as if the world could fall apart around me and I wouldn't care at all.

Where were you born?

California.

Was there anything that you were worried about the first time we were about to become naked?

Well, possibly that you would be turned off by the scars on my body, particularly by the c-section scar. I know that I personally loath it, so don't know why you wouldn't. I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't bother you at all, Akri.

If you had the chance to turn back time, would you change anything about your past?

Anyone who knows me probably already knows the answer to this: I would take back getting married. Looking back on it now, I got married for all the wrong reasons. I felt pressured into it. I didn't truly want to, even at the time. I remember crying to my mother about it the morning of the "wedding" and her trying to convince me it was just normal jitters.

Obviously it wasn't, but that's besides the point.

What were you thinking about right before you kissed me for the first time?

I was wondering how soft your lips were going to be. Once I felt them, though, I wanted more and never wanted my lips to be separated from yours.

What is your ultimate sexual fantasy?

This is difficult, because I have many sexual fantasies. So many that I'm not sure which I can label as "the ultimate." One of my fantasies is to have Akri completely dominate Morika and I, telling us exactly what to do, how to do it. Perhaps there's rope or chains or stocks involved. Perhaps it's just a vanilla scene. Either way, it's a turn-on to think about how dominating he can be towards us.

Dear fake ass bitches,

I'm tired of you saying one thing to my face and me finding out you've said another behind my back. Tired of how one can defend someone so obviously worthless. Just consider this friendship at an end now. I'll be the bad guy, I don't give a shit.

I do consider what was done to me the final knife in the back. I put up with it for too long and I don't have to take it any longer. If that makes me a bad friend, I'll be that, too. I'll be whatever you want to call me. And I'll be it proudly, if only to get away from you.

If you don't feel this is aimed at you, it's probably not. If, however, something reminds you of yourself? Yeah, totally aimed at you.

No love or time for bitches,
Lilikka

Let's face it, I'm a bitch

It's days like this that I hate being a succubus. Knowing there are people that are attracted to me, but not being able to be with me. Especially now that part of the rules that all three of us agreed to means no one outside the three of us. And, in a way, I completely understand. It would upset me to see someone else with Akri or with Morika, so why wouldn't it upset them to see someone else with me?

I know I've hurt people because of what I am. I can't help it. I try to make myself seem as unattractive as possible, just to avoid certain situations. I wish it would work more often than it does.

Burn baby burn

Believe it or not, I try not to be a complete bitch most of the time. But when I feel slighted or wronged in some way, I will lash out. Take, for example, my ex’s fiancée. She overstepped her boundaries, so I got upset with her. As a favour to my ex, however, I extended an olive branch, hoping that maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. After all, he said that she said she was sorry.

But it’s been 24 hours and there’s been no response to my generous offer. Now, I’m a forgiving demon, but there is a limit to my forgiveness. Especially when, on day one of meeting this person, she’s trying to dictate what I do or don’t do with my daughter.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this other than to expel anger at the situation. And, quite possibly, hoping the parties responsible for the anger will read this and realize that they’ve fucked with the wrong bitch.

Criminal

I’ve been working on writing something for a while. Nothing definite, nothing solid. Just kind of planning it in my head, hoping something awesome would come out of it. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen, so I’m just going to write what I can, since that’s what Akri has requested of me.

I’ve come to realize that, in a lot of ways, I’m a bad person. But I’m OK with this. I like who I am. I like what I’ve become. Life is certainly more interesting this way, at the very least. And it’s not like I don’t have those who love me for exactly what I am.

But I realize I’m not the powerless and weak little girl that others have tried to force me to be my whole life. I realize they kept me down because they were scared. Scared of what I was, of what I would become. And if it sounds narcissistic of me, then I’ll gladly claim that title.

The last few days have helped me more therapeutically than the last few years have. And I have to thank the losers from my past for that. So enjoy it while I flip you the bird and smile.

Wandering mind

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream that I’m going to wake from.  At times, that dream is a nightmare and I beg to wake up.  Sometimes it’s a good dream and I don’t want to wake up.  But no matter what, there is definitely a dream-like quality to all of my actions and the things that happen around me.  Perhaps it’s because I feel more spiritually connected to a different plane of existence than the one here on Earth.

Because, honestly, I’m curious as to why so many people whose spirits I feel hail from Earth are so… I’m not sure how to describe it.  But they’re vulgar.  Or self-obsessed.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m coming across like I feel I’m better than them.  Or maybe it’s just the feeling I got after reading something today written by a certain someone.  It was pretty disgusting.  And misogynistic.  And just gross.

I don’t know.  I’m tired and not thinking too well today.  Or maybe I’m thinking too much.  Or thinking better than I ought to for the situation.  I don’t know.

De-stress

The stress has been much better managed over the past few days.  Between talking with Akri and Morika about everything and us just all relaxing with each other and it all feels really wonderful to have such love around me.

That’s something that I’m still learning to do and something that I’ve been trying to help Morika with as well.  To learn that it’s not what people who don’t love you say that matters.  It’s a hard lesson to learn.  But it’s been well worth it for Akri to guide me through those rough times.  And it’s nice to be able to turn around and help someone else through that as well.

This little family that we’re building around us is truly a beautiful thing.  Things have never felt so complete in my life, even when they are rough.  As long as I’ve got my little bird and my Akri, things are great.