Friday, April 16, 2010


I have a thing for tit torture. It's erotic to watch and erotic to feel. My favorite device are the clover clamps that Master bought for me. Immediately when they are put on, I'm brought to a place where I'm ready and willing to submit to Master, without having to be coaxed there. They bring out something animalistic within me. My pussy moistens and my clit throbs and I just want Master's big cock shoved into my mouth as he pulls on the chain connecting the clamps.

It's the chain, I think, that makes this pair of clamps wonderful. It reminds me of my submission the same way as my collar does. Whether Master is directing my movement by pulling on the rings of my collar or on the chain of the clamps, I know I am doing what he is desiring of me. It's these moments that I realize my true purpose in life: to serve Master to the best of my abilities. It's when I truly feel alive. And having my nipples squeezed tightly by the clamps helps remind me of that.

Truly, I don't think I would be able to submit fully if clamps weren't involved in some way. It doesn't have to be all the time, but even only once in a while, it's a wonderful reminder of the blissful pain that my submission brings to me. As a masochist, it is something I thrive on, particularly in matters of a sexual nature. And if something so simple as that can help bring me closer to what I perceive as my true purpose, than that can only be a good thing.

Friday, April 9, 2010


I’ve been tossing and turning in bed for the past 30 minutes and I hadn’t been able to figure out why.  Then it hit me: I’m still not completely over eni.  It’s only been, what, a few months since then?  November is when it all happened.

But I had fallen hard for her and in the span of only a few days, she managed to rip my heart out and show me how naive and vulnerable I can still be after all this time.

I don’t know why it bothers me as much as it does.  What the three of us shared together is nothing like what Master and I together have.  But it was that third piece that made it kind of nice.  But I don’t know if I could ever open my heart up again for that.

Either way, I hope by just writing this little bit, I’ll at least be able to sleep.  And that Master will read in the morning and maybe he can just talk with me about it.