I’m not quite sure if I’ve touched on it in this blog, but I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD due to the past abuse of my father and ex-husband. What this generally means is that my past is a scary place for me, but it’s getting better. I’ve discovered just how much better it’s gotten lately when I started catching up with people from my past and I was no longer reminded of the bad things.
I attribute a lot of my healing to Master. Although we include physical punishments as part of our relationship, they aren’t the same as the abuse of the past. And, truly, I don’t do much to deserve punishment. There are the occasional upkeep spakings, to make sure that I’m used to feeling the sting of Master’s hand, but those, again, aren’t like the abuse at all.
Truly, I think I’ve come a long way from what I was when I started serving Master. I was afraid to leave the house then, sure that at any moment, my father or ex-husband would come leaping out unseen and attack me. But that’s the way it is with PTSD and all I can do is hope to continue conquering it.