Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I’ve tried for years to feel like I was connected to something bigger than myself.  But try as I might, I continue to feel like an outcast.  I’m not quite sure why that is, though.  I’m an interesting person.  I know for a fact that I have a lot I can bring to the table.  Yet that feeling of belonging to a community eludes me.

Maybe I just complain too much.  After all, I have a wonderful Akri and a beautiful little bird that both love and accept me for who and what I am.  Shouldn’t that be enough?

At the same time, however, Akri and Morika both have Second Life, where they have friends and family and a community that accepts and loves them.  And, I have to admit, I’m a little jealous.  I know I can’t be part of that.

Perhaps it all just boils down to my terrible self-esteem issues.  As much as I’d like to say “I don’t ACT like I have low self-esteem, so how do the people who treat me poorly or ignore me know?” I think that’s probably the most likely thing it could be.

But is it really too much to ask to be respected in a field of my choosing?

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